Elaine asked:


Think chemistry in relationships is something that “just happens?” If you do, the truth might surprise you. Sure, you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understand what chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Develop a rapport!

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat.

Adrenaline is your friend!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation-whether pleasurable or not-tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a roller coaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date on the knee or arm early on. You want to be careful with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage.

Chemistry in relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Elaine is the author of several books on the subject of dating and relationships. Find Your Future Husband is a book that teaches women how to find the right man who is looking for a committed relationship and marriage. 101 Reasons Why Men Stop Calling is another popular book by the author.



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Scott Patterson asked:


If you thought you were finished with chemistry lessons the day you graduated high school, think again. There’s nothing more important in the dating game than sexual chemistry, and if you don’t have it, you need to learn to fake it.

Girls, they have wildly unpredictable taste in men. Some like male models, some like geeks, some go for humor, and others want sheer wealth. But the one thing that every woman does agree on is that she and her potential lover must share chemistry.

The good news for those who are no longer blessed with a full head of hair is that chemistry has got very little to do with your looks. Ever seen a gorgeous girl hanging on the arm of an outwardly unattractive man? The guy must be giving good chemistry.

Now, most girls believe that chemistry can’t be faked. They think that the pair of you have to connect on some sort of cosmic level, and that if the attraction isn’t instant they may as well walk away.

But they’re wrong.

By following my lead, you can learn to create a convincing connection between yourself and any girl you fancy. And all that it takes is a little bit of practice.

What girls describe as “sexual chemistry” is simply a feeling of being comfortable in one another’s company. There are several ways to achieve this.

The first, and the most important, thing that you must do is pretend to be relaxed around her. Even if your palms are sweating and your knees are trembling, adopt a relaxed posture and chat to her in a calm and even tone of voice. If you seem perfectly comfortable around her, she will find it easier to loosen up around you.

Engage her in casual conversation. If you’re normally a very shy person, think up a few topics before heading into town, such as films you’ve seen recently, popular TV shows, or the quality of other people’s karaoke. If she’s wearing a striking accessory, compliment her on it. Or simply ask about her day and how she’s liking the bar/club/restaurant where you’ve met.

Look for common points of interest, and engage her in conversation about them. Discovering a shared hobby or opinion will imediately bring you closer.

Tease her, but carefully. Criticising her beliefs, habits or loved ones will instantly kill the mood, but a lightly heated debate about your different tastes in music can make you both laugh and give you an excuse for playful touching.

Torment her a little. Brush your fingers against her arm, then withdraw. Reach for her face, but pull back at the very last minute. Glance at her lips, bite your mouth, and look away. There’s nothing like wondering if a man is interested to grab a girl’s attention.

Keep some things to yourself. If you steer the conversation away from your work, family and personal life you can create an alluring aura of mystery. If all you’re after is a quick fling, it will also discourage her from getting too attached.

The aim is to create a relaxed and natural atmosphere which will convince her you’re actually compatible. Keep your smiles and your laughter genuine, your responses vague but honest, and your nerves very much in check.

Chemistry. Chicks may believe that it’s a mystical reaction, but you and I know better. One easy evening of conversation, and the connection has been made.



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Michael Dat asked:


What is the deal with Chemistry and women? Everyone says they want some “chemistry”. And creating chemistry with women can be as easy as mixing two colored liquids. But the more important thing about creating chemistry with women is mixing the right kind of liquids to form a deadly concoction. If you have the right kind of mixture, than you will definitely have no troubles attracting women like bees on a honey.

It actually takes more than honey and colored liquids in order to make these ladies come after you unfortunately. It is true indeed that women are unpredictable creatures. But this does not mean that they are going to be beyond your reach.

So what exactly is the secret concoction? Some men have it automatically figured for themselves, while some men who are not as lucky, are still lurking in the mucky waters looking for the real secret of creating the chemistry with women.

The real thing is that, it takes a lot of practice and if you fail after your first try, do not give up hope too soon. It may be just that you had your start with the wrong kind of girl.

How you behave around her presence is very important. Let’s say that you are chatting with her. Try to look at her while she is talking, instead of getting all fidgety. To create some chemistry, try to hold your gaze the next time her eyes met yours. She might not notice it or pretend not to notice it at first. Just continue to do this and if you realize that she looks down shyly after catching your gaze, then that is definitely a good start. Take it from there mate.

Learn to get comfortable with her and this would make it easier for you to drop larger hints that you are interested with her. Next, it is time to give her your electric touch that might give her the butterflies. Sit closer to her, brush across her hand slightly as you reach out to grab your glass and “accidentally” touch her arm as you excuse yourself from the table.

These are just some of the small yet powerful “touching” techniques that you might want to consider using. These touches will give her the impression and assurance that you are interested with her indeed and you are hitting on her. This would also give her confidence to play in the courting game.

The most important part to creating chemistry with women is the ability to maintain a light and happy conversation with her. Try not to sound too boss-like and end up asking her questions like it is some kind of interview. Be spontaneous at times and let her feel like she is enjoying the conversation.

After some time, you might want to proceed to a deeper and serious-like kind of mood. It makes the entire conversation more and more engaging as she notice the change in mood. A serious and more low-key conversation would also give you the green light to start flirting. Also at the same time, notice how she is behaving. If she is comfortable with the conversation, then you can be assured that she is having the hots for you too.

These are just some of sleek techniques that men have used time and again, and they always succeed in getting the women they want! So, it’s time to try your luck.



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Francis Githinji asked:


The issue of chemistry in relationships has been a controversial issue, which has made many Christian dating singles to either leave the current relationships they are in or developed a sense of skepticism on each other. The fact is that they have let it be a thorn in the flesh, as they use the society’s measure of true relationships, forgetting that it is the Lord who created us and he is aware of what we want. Chemistry among dating partners is the wrong way to look at a relationship. Christian dating is far from outside attraction alone. Chemistry means that there are things among the two you that are bringing you on the same point of view and you can agree on most issues as you are at ease and you are really attracted to each other. This might be the case, where after you had dated for sometime, you realize that the kind of chemistry you had is drying up and you are not agreeing on various fronts. The answer is simple; there was not chemistry in the first instance. It was mere attraction. Otherwise, were it true chemistry that brought the two together, then there could be nothing like waning love and attraction. Chemistry in Christian dating can easily be manifested through distinct ways. The contemporary world looks at attraction as being represented in physical attraction and outward beauty. It is easy to be attracted to someone, but it does not mean that you have chemistry. In the bible, Eve was created from the ribs of Adam, and this is a true case of chemistry. What the world is calling chemistry is compatibility. It is a realization that as much as your personality and attitude seem to be the same, there is that inherent quality which will always draw you together. Christian dating singles must realize that true chemistry is absolute compatibility, what makes your friends say that those two were made for each other. A relationship is made up of two individuals who are in love, or have a duty to each other, seeking to make their union work. It is when the relationship has been faced by tough choices and problems that you can check whether it was true chemistry that brought you together. The problems might be the parting point, or the point of cementing the relationship forever. This is because if it was true chemistry, you will always be doing something that runs deeper than normal duty in Christian dating relationships, to make sure the other partner is back to his/her normal self without hurting them or their egos. A relationship is about responsibility towards each other. The individual who depicts true compatibility and chemistry in a Christian dating relationship is that person who is ready to sacrifice all if it jeopardizes his/her chances of being responsible and duty bound to the other person. You will always be feeling indebted to do more in the relationship, so that you can continue enjoying the joys of your union for longer. Rather than wither away, a relationship that has people who are not only ready to serve each other but also ready to rectify the stressful situation and cement it more means that a sense of responsibility and duty for each other usurps mere chemistry.



chemistry

Michael Douglas asked:


Love is the strongest motivator to live. It is also the biggest cause of heartbreaks. More powerful than the desire for life, richer than every other emotion in all its hues and creative in its every manifestation, love is many a splendoured thing.

Though love by another name would still be love, there have been varied attempts at its definition. Crooned Nat King Cole, “L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very, very extraordinary, E is even more than anyone that you can adore…”

For romantics, love is a miracle, a blessing. But, if we lift our pink shades for a moment to put the emotion under a microscope, it might evoke questions. Does this wonderful feeling live in our hearts, minds, or in our heads? Should we thank our biology for it, or could it be a matter of sheer chemistry between two people?

Spark unplugged

It’s pure chemistry,” says 25-year-old Linda Baker from Wisconsin, US: “It’s an immediate attraction and connection to someone. It can develop over time, but there is a definite initial spark.

While Tuhin Sinha, author of the recently-published novel, That Thing Called Love, believes that, “It’s an instinct that grows into an emotion,” Pradeep Nambiar, who had an arranged marriage, says, “Even without much scope for courtship, one knows if there would be chemistry with the prospective partner. It took me three months to fall in love with her completely.” He recalls, “But, when I met her I knew that there was a chemistry.”

Jr Margaret Rogers Van Coops, a clinical hypnotherapist, healer specialising in alternative therapies, and counsellor, explains: “Love is a feeling of acceptance and togetherness in harmony.” Speaking to CW, she said, “Two people come together and share themselves by exchanging energy, words, thoughts, and emotions. They are motivated by this union to move forward individually, or in a side-by-side action.”

Brain scans of people in love have revealed that love at an early stage is not so much an emotion as it is a motivational drive to win the love of someone. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, found out that the early stages of a romantic relationship spark activity in dopamine-rich areas of our brain associated with motivation and reward. The more intense the relationship, the greater the activity. The most important part seems to be the reward system – the part of the brain that lets you focus your attention, gives you elation, and the ability to get what you want. In this case, a beloved. The regions associated with emotion are activated only later in a relationship.”

Give and take

It’s the quest for pleasure that makes us fall in love, says Dr Sri Chaitanya, a psychoneuroimmunologist. He calls love anandamayabhyasat [seekers of happiness; in this case, love] and quotes a sloka: Dadati prati grihnati, guhyam akhyati prucchati, bhunktam bhnjayate chaivam, shadvidh priti lakshanam [Giving something, taking something, feeding something and to eat something, and speaking everything, no secrecy].

Love Blooms

- Red Chrysanthemum = I love

- Balsam = Ardent love

- Red Balsam = Impatient yet resolved to win your love

- Ambrosia = Love returned

- Amarnath {globe} = Unfading love

- Yellow Acacia = Secret love

- Azalea = Love, romance

Love Binds

Does this, in other words, mean that love is blind? Absolutely! Love is known to blind us to everything other than the best qualities of our sweetheart. Scientists have found that when people look at their lovers, the neural circuits that are normally associated with critical social assessment of other people are suppressed. When no longer madly in love, the hormone levels return to normal.

When we share a chemistry with another person, chances are that this is really a general activity of neurochemicals. Cupid’s arrows would have been ineffective if not first dipped in an unromantically-named chemical.

When two people are attracted to each other, neurochemicals gush forth.ss The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, phenylethylamine [PEA, dubbed the "love molecule"]. Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes, or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are an overdose of this chemical.

Is it possible that this chemical explosion could take place the minute you lay your eyes on that one special person for the first time in life? Can there be love at first sight?

When one is younger, it is definitely possible. Later on, probably by the end of the first meeting. But, “It’s possible at any age,” as Nambiar and Baker believe.



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